So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
