youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Randomize
