I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
