she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
