I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
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