Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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