i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
