I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
