So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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