How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
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