I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
