therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
