when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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