once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
