Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
