part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
