where does the pee come out of this thing
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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