Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize