I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
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