Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize