if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
