You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
