He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
