oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
