i just wanna soil my oats bro
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I party with great urgency now.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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