Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
