Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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