you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
