this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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