I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
