I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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