Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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