WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
