did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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