mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
