I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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