my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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