they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize