big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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