A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
