Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
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