The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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