I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Liz is crying about burritos again.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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