I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Randomize
