and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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