just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
