I cockslap morals
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
