I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
