Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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