Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
