I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
