he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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