i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
