Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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