my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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