I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You need Xanax blowdarts
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
