Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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