you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
