I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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