The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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