i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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